I am writing this about an hour before class, and honestly, I feel overwhelmed with the material and what is expected in order to succeed in the class. I am definitely committed to seeing everything through, but where to start? I guess the first smart thing would be to browse through the text and start reading about some existentialism. I met with my group lat week, still no Danielle Flores… I read one of my other group member’s blog and he talked about how he can’t forget her name after calling for her in the lecture room. For some strange reason I can’t forget her name either (sorry to be creepy Danielle, or not, I don’t know because you will probably never read this). Now this play or performance that we have to do… One word, “why?” Even though I really don’t want to act in front of 100+ students, I will swallow my anxiety and deliver a fucking stellar performance, or so I’d like to believe. (At least I will try.) Now, in the syllabus it says that Group 1 is presenting today and I am curious to see how it will play out. I am excited to see what the first group is going show us, lecture-wise. – Finishing up this reflection, I was impressed with the first group. They did a good job on not lecturing and engaging instead. Plus, they had the shortest time out of everyone to prepare and they still did well. The play they put on was quite simple and minimal, but still got to the point. I have to admit, I was a little behind on the reading of The Stranger, but as I read it, I find it incredibly engaging. Something about how the story is told draws my attention and the content appeals to me. I like anything out of the ordinary, so to start with a death progress into madness pleased me. Is that weird to say? Good night.

Outside of this course, I have read only a few selected works from popular existential philosophers. The first was Nausea by Jean-Paul Sartre. The book made me nauseous and I sold it at a used bookstore. The second, and hopefully not last, was Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Friedrich Nietzsche. Now it’s not like I was able to read the entire book and be at ease with what it said. The read was, and still is, challenging to mentally grasp. Out of all the philosophers related to existentialism, Nietzsche is the one whom I am most drawn to. I like his ideas about holding every person responsible to their actions and how we must progress as humans to lead us to the Übermensch. What also draws me to existentialism is the questions that are being asked and how they relate to self-consciousness. I want to know more about philosophy, different ways of thinking, and to have a better understanding of my place in the world. The actions of some people make no sense, and it makes me think, “What gives them the right? What proper right do we have to do so and so?”  This leads me to question my own actions and whether or not I have significant meaning in a place with billions of other people. Existentialism asks such perfect questions, in my opinion. It throws you into a scenario and anything you do has a reaction. Being brought up into a world that is filled with chaos and beauty at the same time begs for existentialism to be discussed. It also lays out the groundwork for self-reflection. Taking an honest look at yourself is one of the hardest things to do. Analyzing your weaknesses and learning how to build off of them into something positive is a breath of fresh air. I am hoping that by learning more about existentialism, I will learn the right questions to be asking myself, and the right train of thought to further expand my knowledge of myself and the world I live in.